Where has my inspiration gone? I can't seem to muster up the energy to write anything of any substance; I have started many posts in the fortnight past but none of which have made me want to give them over to you.
I have learnt many things as January fades in February, I have realised there is a world inside my Shire that I was previously unaware of... My eyes have been opened and my mouth left agape as the blonde Esquire has given me an education I shall never forget.
We spend nearly every day together, our ruse becoming easier to forget as I truly do enjoy spending time with him. He encourages me to think more broadly and gives me experiences I hadn't thought possible...
It was last weekend, nay, even longer ago, that the Duke's sister and I held an evening in celebration of travel. We dressed up in foreign guises as we listened to explorers tell us of their journeys and the treasure they plundered and the adventures across stormy seas. Not only was it wonderful to hear, but it gave my Ladies and I a real thirst for the extraordinary, and Summer plans have been whispered about the Continent, a Grande Tour or indeed a return journey to the Antipodes.
Could I leave once again with no thought to the Shire?
What would it be like to return to the Captain, whose correspondence lessens with every passing week?
I know I shall return eventually, but I don't know if it shall ever be my home. It is said that your home is where your heart is, but it seems I may have a fickle heart.
I am not in love with the blonde Esquire. I know I cannot be for this is purely a scheme to get his Mother off his back and give him the reigns of freedom. I know I cannot love him because there is no chance I could keep him from his own responsibilities. He would not let me fall in love with him, however despite the pretence, there is a growing friendship between the two of us. How could there not be?
He is away in the Capital for a few days hence and though I am not in love with him, I have noted his absence more keenly that I'd have thought. But no matter, it's exactly how I feel when I don't see Armiger or the Court Jester for long periods of time.
In fact it is all the better to have the space as it is his birthday this weekend and I shall spend the whole of tomorrow planning a day for the two of us to enjoy.
Ah, another birthday too nearly slipped my mind, a Northern beauty from my years living up North has come to share her love with us on this special occasion; no doubt this week will include many frivolities and much laughter! I look forward to all the celebrations!
As do I look forward to the return of the blonde Esquire... At least with the void he has left behind I have an evening spare with no excuse but to write!